You can probably feel it coming. That particular combination of tone of voice and sudden amped up energy that gets your mom-sense tingling. There’s a tantrum about to happen. Can you feel your body tensing up, hoping to hold off the tantrum onslaught? You may be feeling overwhelmed and wondering what to do.
Has this ever happened to you? Its bedtime, you are all settled in and tired, ready to get some rest, when your brain fires up and proceeds to review all the crap from the day? Your brain gets stuck on repeat replaying that thing that you said that was embarrassing, the low key mean thing that coworker did, the fact that your boss wants
You’ve heard the advice to be grateful and to keep a gratitude journal. You may have even really tried for a while. Lots of parents try to be grateful and will even write it down sometimes but then the practice fades. Especially when life gets stressful. Which, as a parent, can mean any given moment.
When our children get upset we usually experience some feelings too. Perhaps the meltdown triggers our defensiveness (“there’s no reason to be so upset”), or maybe we feel guilty or sad and want to help our child’s feelings go away as quickly as possible (“its okay, don’t cry”).
We are at the doctor’s office for a well check up. I’m sitting on the rug on the floor, my son in my lap, he’s yelling and kicking his feet, his big feelings currently in charge of his actions. The doctor is patiently waiting (and I think likely observing my parenting skills).
Sometime ago a family member came over to the house to meet my son for the first time. When this well-meaning person, technically a stranger to my son, tried the Big-Smile-Arms-Open-for-a-Hug style of greeting, my son (totally appropriately) hid behind my legs and looked at the floor. My relative immediately responded with a hearty “Oh, you’re just being shy!“ and seemed put out that he wasn’t given the hug he thought he deserved.
Have you ever been taken your child to the playground only for her to cling to your leg and refuse to play? Or you’re normally happy go lucky kid starts having epic meltdowns every morning about getting ready for school? It can be alarming when your child is upset for what may seem like no reason. You want answers. You want to help her. What is going on?
Want to have a superpower? Cultivating a habit of gratitude and thankfulness can turn your bad day around. You can change your every day reality just by
When our bodies are reminded of a past stressor during a current event and our responses are bigger than the situation warrants, we have probably been triggered.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on UnsplashI’m currently sitting in a coffee shop trying to get some work done. I looked up and caught an automobile ad on television. The ad showed a sulky looking tweenager sitting in the backseat looking at her phone. The family car turns off...