Yesterday on the way home from school my son started crying. He tearfully told me his teacher forgot to give him back a toy she had been holding for him and that he needed it right now. Part of me wanted to turn right around to get his toy because he was just so sad. The rest of me tried to help him get through this challenge by building his resiliency to setbacks. I know you want to protect your child from the pain of disappointment. It’s so tempting to solve problems for your child. What if instead you provide them with the skills they need to handle challenges themselves? This would be a win win!
What is Resiliency
Resiliency is “the developable capacity to rebound or bounce back from adversity, conflict, and failure or even positive events, progress, and increased responsibility” (Luthans, 2002a: 702). Resilient children have the ability to overcome challenges. The kids who possess resiliency to setbacks are the ones able to deal in a healthy way with bullies, getting a bad grade, fights with their sister, hearing the word no, and every other kind of demand kids face on a daily basis.
Benefits of Being Resilient
The benefits of resiliency extend to so many aspects of life. Resilient kids are able to effectively solve problems, take initiative, engage in school, be responsible, show empathy, set and meet goals, work independently, and ask for help when they need it. Resilient children feel a sense of purpose and direction in their lives. They know their efforts have value.
One Sentence to Foster Resiliency to Setbacks
Figuring out exactly how to help your child develop a resiliency to setbacks can seem overwhelming. However, integrating this one simple sentence into your daily vocabulary can be a great place to start a mindset shift toward resiliency.
“Even though I _____ I can ______.”
“Even though I feel scared I can try my best.”
“Even though I feel stressed I can figure this out.”
“Even though I made a mistake I can make it right.”
“Even though I am frustrated I can take a deep breath.”
Give it a try. Let me know how it goes in the comments.